Where do I start? (Except, yes, Saturday, if you're sure.)
I'll be the first to admit I am slow to deal with change, and easily startled, and that it is, yes, a problem.
I will also admit I am afraid of so much - for so much, right now. What she'll do next. If Raz and I will ever get married if something will tear him away if the curse damage gets worse if Our Lord if we still know how to talk to each other when if there's no way out, and we're in this endless waiting if he decides I'm not if we don't ever if I change so much he can't love me
Afraid, yes.
What she might do to students next. That they're not talking to me, not really, about the punishments, worries me more than words can tell. That the small things are adding up and up and up into an endless sum, too much to ever bear or dismantle or make better. That they will come out twisted like she's twisted.
That I will. You are right, Toshenka, about part of my fears.
What makes people like that? I - Cassie, last year. It got me wondering. But I've no answers. Pomona was in school around the same time as her pinkness and - she wouldn't say much, didn't dare, but she said she wasn't the kindest or the most helpful or the most pleasant. But she wasn't like this, not then.
And it's changing so much of everything else. Things with my family. People who don't understand what it's like here. Seeing divisions amongst the students. Those things - even if Minerva were back tomorrow, properly in her office, those things, those wounds, those suspicions, wouldn't go away. I don't know.
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Date: 2013-03-14 12:18 am (UTC)Where do I start? (Except, yes, Saturday, if you're sure.)
I'll be the first to admit I am slow to deal with change, and easily startled, and that it is, yes, a problem.
I will also admit I am afraid of so much - for so much, right now. What she'll do next.
If Raz and I will ever get married if something will tear him away if the curse damage gets worse if Our Lord if we still know how to talk to each other when if there's no way out, and we're in this endless waiting if he decides I'm not if we don't ever if I change so much he can't love meAfraid, yes.
What she might do to students next. That they're not talking to me, not really, about the punishments, worries me more than words can tell. That the small things are adding up and up and up into an endless sum, too much to ever bear or dismantle or make better. That they will come out twisted like she's twisted.
That I will. You are right, Toshenka, about part of my fears.
What makes people like that? I - Cassie, last year. It got me wondering. But I've no answers. Pomona was in school around the same time as her pinkness and - she wouldn't say much, didn't dare, but she said she wasn't the kindest or the most helpful or the most pleasant. But she wasn't like this, not then.
And it's changing so much of everything else. Things with my family. People who don't understand what it's like here. Seeing divisions amongst the students. Those things - even if Minerva were back tomorrow, properly in her office, those things, those wounds, those suspicions, wouldn't go away. I don't know.
How, magister? What can one possibly do instead?