Private message to Lucius and Narcissa

[alt_antonin]

I have a great deal of news, and none of it good. I'm sorry, darlings, I don't have the capacity to soften it.

You may have seen some of it already. I'm not sure how much is making its way to you.

The worst of it is that Barty is dead. As near to it as I can piece together, it was Wednesday. There was a battle, on Saturday, and in the midst of it I took a curse, enough to kill me. Dead for two and a half minutes, they tell me. It broke ... everything. The charms we had for each other, the spells I was holding on the field, my spells elsewhere ... I don't blame him for thinking I was dead; I would have believed it myself. They called the retreat shortly thereafter, and the field was such that they knew they could not have taken the time to find my body. Except, of course, that one of the battlefield Healers had portkeyed me to St Mungo's, and I was brought back -- the order may be the other way around; I still do not know everything that happened -- except the hospital is contested ground, and Fletcher plucked me out of the pile before anyone else could tell that I had been brought in, and did not realise how urgent it was to tell Barty that I was not dead after all. Just unconscious, and would stay so for quite some time

He tried to get a message through, apparently. Just not hard enough.

Barty -- well. How often did we joke about it, that one of us would not outlive the other for very long? Except I believe Barty thought my death was his to carry the blame for -- it was not, I will go to my grave swearing swear to you it was not; it was my own fucking failure -- and his guilt and rage got the better of him, and he set out to make me an escort of anyone and everyone who had ever so much as

It was Hydra who stopped him, finally. In the Forbidden Forest -- I think he was determined he would take back Hogwarts in my name or die trying. They left him there to rot, to be eaten by monsters, and they will use even that to

Простите -- I waited to write until I thought I could do so coherently, but I am less coherent than I would like.

I don't know what comes next. I've spent the last day trying to figure it out. None of the options will do anyone any good.

I am so fucking glad that you are both safe and well and away from this nightmare.

Comments

[alt_narcissa]

Oh, Toshenka. How dreadful.

I must admit we have all but put our journals aside, save for one or two specific Notificio circumstances. Lucius was alerted last week by one but it was Rookwood raving. So he put the book away. I might have missed this, myself, were it not for the Notificio growing more insistent.

I'm so very -

Did my parcels get through? It seems incongruous to ask only, I hoped the opening of trade might signal a potential exit for you. If not through Dover then elsewhere.

You've heard that Ireland is back on the map? On the outside, I mean. Lucius was approached by representatives of the IWC seeking advice on its sudden reappearance. There's also a situation brewing in the Balkans which they thought could use his expertise.

About Barty, I ... I think I knew something was wrong, though by what prescience I could not say. My dreams have been less peaceful, this past week or so. Perhaps in retrospect I am ascribing connection where I have no right to one. He was special to me, as well, though we had nothing like your bond.

Of course you are heartsore and weary, my dear one. I am more sorry than I can say. This fight has cost us all far too much. If you can find an escape, Toshenka, do come here. May you find it as healing a place as we have done.

[alt_antonin]

Yes, they did -- I'm sorry, milaya, I meant to say. He and I made a picnic out of some of what you sent, in fact. Sitting on a platform over the

It's a good memory. We had several of those in the past weeks, at least. And your gifts did bring him joy for at least an hour or two, before it all went to hell.

No, I hadn't heard about Ireland. I've been -- well. As you might imagine, I have not been good for much over the past thirty-six hours since I woke up, and certainly not keeping track of the wider world. Although I'm not certain that's known here even to those who aren't wallowing; news, as of late, has been less reliable if one does not know how to read through the propaganda. (And I am certain reports will grow more unreliable from here on out; Barty had, as you well remember, a grudge against the media, and I am afraid to say that the Prophet, Whirl, and Londinarium, at least, all suffered losses. I have not yet seen a full accounting of the rest; there may be more.) From rumours I knew there was some great working while I was halfway to the undiscovered country, and from the effects it had on everything I could guess it involved the wards -- Gus had been working on some way to handle bleeding off some of the built-up pressure, but

I'm sorry. I'm avoiding the things I don't want to talk about. Tell Lyoushka I can give him a list of names of those who might be sensible. And if the Americans are being difficult, as they undoubtedly are, he should go find Marja -- Marie-Jacqueline -- Brouard, in their Department of Magic, and tell her that he is my brother and that I will forgive the hundred Galleons she still owes me if she should spend some of her political capital in easing his way.

If Dover had been open at any point since he whose name I shall not ever write again fell, I would have coshed Barty over the head and dragged him through, and let him rail against me and my treachery once he woke somewhere safe and protected. Would the gods that I had. But rest assured, if I see the chance, I will take it. And if my appearance would not bring the full weight of retribution down on your heads, you will be my first stop. If my sins catch up with me first, though -- know that I love you both, dearly.

[alt_lucius]

Bratka,

My condolences. As Narcissa said, we have found ... found that even if we try to get a sense of occurrences in the Protectorate, it is nearly impossible to piece together the whole of what has been happening. You are quite right that at times it seems there is far too much to discuss and not nearly the time - or the words. But you have my sympathy for this loss, as for much else.

Will certainly keep the recommendations in mind, but for the moment I do not believe we are in danger. They were asking for assistance, not seeking retribution. Thus far, at any rate. We do still have allies among the international community, or I suspect we would have had trouble long before this.

You speak about reporters and losing control of the press - there you have my utmost sympathy. There is no controlling them on this side, only scaring them off. But we have at least been able to exert some pressure to keep them from dogging our heels at every turn. It wasn't long before we were discovered but - well, as I say, we have handled it.

Had I been in any position to bargain for you, I would have done. Assume you are working to capture Dover's Secret Keeper?

[alt_antonin]

Lyoushka, I did not expect you to have bargained for me. Nor I would not have gone without Barty, and he would have been an even harder sell.

I don't know who the Secret-Keeper for Dover is, but yes, if I am able to determine it, I will do what I can to find him or her. Until then, though ... I don't know. A good hard look at how many mistakes I can at least partially rectify, I suppose. I should undoubtedly go check in with Bella and see what machinations are already underway, but I'm finding it difficult to drag myself out of this house. Perhaps I shall see what her next move will be.

I'm glad that you two are enduring. But if matters turn ill for you and it looks as though you may not make it through with your usual grace, if all else fails, go to Cairo: find the Conclave, and ask for Sayyid ibn Āzar al-Sadiq, who may even be Grand-Master by now, and tell him that you are mine. At very least he will arrange sanctuary for you. And yes, I know that I am catastrophising, but it eases my mind somewhat to arm you with some of my connections, in the hopes that if it all goes to shit -- goes further to shit -- you will have as much of a fighting chance as I can give you.

Luck to you both, my dear ones. And wish me the same.

[alt_lucius]

Bella's attempt to hold together the remains of government was noble, even valourous, but I fear it may have been too little, too late. Had we all recognised the need and been able to set aside personal grievance for a single coup, perhaps, we might have been able to defeat both the Dark Lord and our enemies. But given what I have managed to glean of the manner of the nameless one's passing, I fail to see how circumstances could have played otherwise.

Now we have both lost sons.

Nonetheless, if you hear of Bella's next move and wish to discuss its wisdom, know that you have but to ask. До́брое бра́тство — лу́чшее бога́тство. They may have - limited - my range of options, but strategy has never been their strongest suit.